Go ahead, blame my vagina

FYI, it is insulting to assume that I’m going to vote for Hillary because I’m a woman. How is that assumption even logical? Because she has a vagina and so do I?  By that logic, I would be voting for the Donald because I have an asshole. Yes, of course I want a woman for president. We are long overdue and I inherently believe that women are smarter, more compassionate, and have a greater ability to develop strong and productive relationships versus men. If that makes me a feminist, then I wear that label with pride. But Hillary being a woman is very much not the reason I am voting for her.

That said…

And I’m going on record with this,

I don’t like Hillary Clinton. I think she’s always been calculating and self-serving and as such, a poor female role model. She, like many, many, MANY politicians before her, has conducted herself in a way that most would not consider to be honest and pure. These factors make me dislike her, personally and professionally. Not that I actually know her or have worked with her, but you get my point. However we don’t have to like the person we vote for, but we do have to make the decision based on qualifications. That’s what you should do when hiring for any job. And for this alone, there is no way I can even consider Donald Trump. 

Trump is not qualified. Not even close. And don’t tell me he’s a highly successful business man. Nope, he’s not. In fact, some of the few successes he’s had have come at the cost of cheating. His business record is actually atrocious. I heard that same rationale about needing a business man in office when George W. Bush was running, and given that his approach plunged us into financial hell, that argument doesn’t hold water for me. The person running our country should be a demonstrated leader, someone who understands the political system – for better or for worse, and the policies and procedures that are in place. If he or she is seeking to improve them through wholesale change – great! But you have to understand how something works before that change can happen.  Therefore the amount of experience matters. It matter a lot. He is, quite simply, unqualified. And that fact alone should matter the most.

However,

This time is different

This time, quality trumps quantity.

Pun very intended.

I’ve already said I don’t like Hillary. But the thing is, I abhor Donald Trump. I believe he is pure evil - a narcissist at the very least, he is a PROVEN racist, liar, bully, criminal, and of course, a huge sexist misogynist. The evidence to these characteristics is overwhelming, and these facts make him unfit to hold the most respected office in our country. He’s not saying what everyone else is afraid to say, he’s saying things that he very obviously believes, and which demonstrate that he is an awful person. Some people are attracted to others that are willing to go against the norm. I get that.  But if he’s saying what is on your mind, representing what you think, then make no mistake, you should be taking a long, scrutinizing look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see?  And even if you don’t feel he represents who you actually are, please know that just your endorsement of him speaks a different story about you. For example...

...a person may not consider themselves as a racist, but their support of Trump says that racism isn’t a deal-breaker, which ipso facto declares them a racist.  

Do people not get that?

Racism is not ok. Not. At. All.  Nor is mocking or degrading anyone because of gender, physical appearance, or disability. We don’t tolerate bullying when it comes to our children, so then why would it be ok in the person we want to lead our country? This would essentially give everyone permission to be awful. That is a dark and frightening thought.

If this thought and his character aren't enough to dissuade people from voting for him, then the hate in this country is at a level that appalls me.  Is this the America we are or want to show the world? If so, it’s not a country that holds the same values as I do, and that makes me really, really sad. This has been the most upsetting, embarrassing, disgraceful excuse of a presidential election I have ever seen, and one that I hope I or my children will never have to witness again. I think it’s safe to say that both of these candidates have engaged in behavior that is less than presidential. The question for this election is who is most qualified, in both resume and character. It’s Clinton. It HAS to be her.

But let’s get back to my vagina. There is no way my vagina could even consider voting for him. Nor my brain, or my heart. But my vagina seems to be what everyone cares about, (I’m flattered), and my vagina - which has been part of this hard-working full time bread-winning professional who multitasks better than any man I know for almost 46 years - is beyond offended by how Donald treats women, and is flat out tired of scumbags like Donald treating women like shit and not providing the same level of opportunities just because we have said vagina! It's not because she's a woman, it's because of who he is. So if it makes you feel better, go ahead, blame my vagina for my decision to vote for Hillary Clinton. Just please, please, please…don’t vote for the dick.

Blogfully yours,

Julie

April's Snow

I read somewhere recently that when we mourn celebrities it's not because we knew them personally, but rather because their work made us know ourselves better. That perfectly expresses why I think I'm taking the death of Prince so hard, why I haven't stopped binge listening to his music since learning of his death late last week, and why I can't seem to even joke about it as I'm prone to do with every other celebrity death out there. For God's sake, I run a celebrity death pool, part of who I am is making light of situations just like this! But it's different this time. Robin Williams was a sad one for me too - I think everyone felt his tragic loss - but with Prince it actually feels personal. Truly. As the days since his passing go on, I'm actually getting more sad instead of feeling better. 

Like most people, I enjoy music in my own way, quite a lot actually, but can’t say it’s a passion as I see it is in others. So even though I of course have my favorite songs or artists, there are only a very few whose music I feel is actually part of my soul. Prince has always been on that very short list. I can’t think the 80s and 90's, the most formative years of my life, without hearing something of his in the background and feeling the connection it had to me at the time. (Even if some songs may not have made complete sense to me back in the day. Think I’m finally old enough to fully understand the lyrics to “Darling Nikki?” Me neither.) His music was literally the soundtrack to this pivotal time of my life, both the songs that the world made popular, and the lesser known but phenomenal work which I felt more intimately and powerfully. I guess that's why there's been this culmination of his music and memories of certain times in my life coming together over these past few days. I thought if I could just articulate some of this, it might help to comfort the part of me I know better because of his work and reconcile this sadness I'm feeling. So here's a bit of my brain rambling, in no particular order and without any particular connection, in an effort to help me get past the sorrow and....wait for it....2 get through this thing called life: (BOOM!)

• The music binge felt overdue. It's not like I listened to his music everyday, though it was always a pretty safe bet that I stopped and listened when a song came on randomly. But still, I was happy to see that, in addition to what's in my MP3 playlist, just how much of his stuff I own on "old school" CD's. This collection somehow validates my mourning, proves to me that I have a right to be sad he's gone, because investing in his music to this degree clearly means I actually really did love his work. I didn't listen to his more recent work, and honestly didn't know a lot of it. I hope to change that. But even if I don't, it's ok. This represents a part of my life and clearly he was along for the ride. Like a good friend who laughed and cried and stood by me during the journey. 

• In high school, I was a much more insecure version of my current self. MUCH more insecure. Very afraid to let the real me out to most people. But there were a few in the inner circle that did get to experience it. One day, while hanging out in my basement with my friend Beth, "Kiss" came on the radio. I loved that damn song, and started dancing around, circling the pool table while I skipped and sang along with Prince's falsetto. As it turned out, that became a pivotal moment in time for me. Life changing, actually. As my friend witnessed my behavior and laughed along with me, enjoying the whole experience, she asked me at the end why I didn't let others see this version of me. The question hit me like a smack in the face. It made me realize just how much of myself I was holding back, and how un-fun that holding back had been. It was one of those moments that has stuck with me for years - 30 years to be exact - and ended up helping me truly know who I was, accepting that person, and shaping who I am today. All because I was letting myself feel that song, and begin to accept that I don't have to be cool, to rule my world.  (See what I did there?)
• The day after we learned of his passing I remembered that I wrote a paper on “Sign of the Times” in high school. I was amazed (then and now) at how brilliantly Prince captured the tragedy of the era, both as a reflection and a warning. I like to write (duh) so I've kept random stuff I've done over the years. Today I tore my cabinets apart trying to find that damn paper, unfortunately with no luck. Trust me, as brilliant as I'm sure it was (ish) I couldn't have done justice to describing the power of that song. But still, it put a smile on my face to know that of anything I could have written about back then - Prince's work is what I choose. And if I remember correctly, it wasn't so much a choice for me as it was a need to talk about it in the way I liked to express myself the most.
• I’m just back from vacation during which, while we were out for a jog, “Let’s Go Crazy” came on the iPod. We instantly and instinctively starting singing along, slightly breathless, but yet still animated, because that’s what you HAVE to do with that song. It's the law or biblical or something. No really, it's true, look it up. Book of Purple Rain, Chapter 1999. The song during the run made me remember and share the time I was listening to it in my room back in the 80's, dancing around while the song blasted into my head from my WALKMAN. Those foam earpads were wet with my dance sweat, but I still cranked the volume to 10 and, well, basically blew my ears out. The ringing didn't stop for days. I had always thought that when I get my eventual hearing aids I will tell the audiologist that it was Prince's fault. Now I'll be saying it with an even bigger badge of honor on my sleeve. 
• In 2004 on a complete last minute fluke I saw Prince in concert with my then-boss, during his Royal Purpleness' Musicology tour.  Like I said, it was a total stroke of my good luck that when my boss mentioned he was going I commented about how jealous I was, and that he remembered and thought of me when his wife bailed on her ticket the afternoon of the show. Did I mention the tickets were in the 2nd row? Yup! Before Prince even took the stage he stood 6 feet away from us watching the opening act. I was struck not only be the fact that Prince was RIGHT THERE, but that he was so into that opening artist on stage. (And of how short he was. I'm going to guess in the 5'4 range with his high heels on).  When it was finally his time up on that stage, he was simply amazing. In fact I don’t really have the right words to describe it. Simply said, his talent was flawless, so good I wanted to cry. Suffice it to say it was hands down the best show I’ve ever seen by any performer and I'm so grateful to have experienced it. 
• From Under the Cherry Moon, Prince's “Sometimes It Snows in April” has always been one of my favorite songs ever. Not by Prince, I mean EVER. It's a close my eyes, listen to every part, sing along or just listen to him, simple song. But it hauntingly sad and beautiful. Ironically, it's about the death of a loved one, a dear friend who was an inspiration in both life and death. Wow is it even more poignant right now. So then I suppose it's fitting I close with a few of its lyrics:  

Sometimes it snows in April

Sometimes I feel so bad

Sometimes I wish that life was never ending, 

But all good things, they say, never last

Good bye, sweet Prince.

Blogfully Yours, 
Julie

Facebook Ranting, Chapter Duh

I find myself these days spending less and less time on Facebook. Somewhat just because I'm busy with life, but in many ways quite intentionally. And that intentional avoidance actually makes me sad. It's the one social media venue that I actively embrace, a way to stay connected with friends and loved ones, and a sometimes creative outlet to share life's more interesting moments. But in addition to the usual annoyances (see my first chapter on this subject - Facebook Foolishness....), I find that in this election year my Facebook news feed has been overtaken by friends who choose to use it to rant on politics, politicians, politician wanna-bees, political issues, non-political issues dressing up like political issues, and all things related. For the love of God, please, please stop it. And it's not just because it's annoying (though it is), but because there is seriously no point. Here's why:

1. You WILL NOT make me think more highly of you if your views happen to align with mine. At best, I'll have an idea of who I can have a like-minded conversation with at some point, though it more than likely won't be a conversation held publicly through Facebook. 
2. You WILL make me hate you just a little. In fact I've blocked or de-friended quite a few friends because of their posts. And I don't want to do that. If I agreed to connect to you on Facebook, it means I like you and you have a place in heart for some reason. Don't make me regret that decision. If I have to block you, that place in my heart just got a whole lot smaller. And that's just sad. 
3. You WILL expose a side of you that most people don't care to see. Why? As they say, opinions are like assholes and everybody's got one. Maybe I'm just a more private person, but I prefer to keep my asshole closed in public settings. With every post you make, your friends can see your big brown eye getting bigger and bigger. And yes, no matter how you try and dress it up, what comes out of it fucking stinks.
4. You MIGHT make yourself look stupid. While I may use this wacky inter-web thing to research these types of subjects, Facebook posts are not a source I consider valid. However, I admit that I have had the rare occasion where a post strikes me (good or bad) enough to want to learn more. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten when I've investigated the information posted by a friend it's fraught with opinion versus fact, or flat out wrong. The later is not only inflammatory, but in many cases dangerous. The result? Now I think you're dumb. Or too lazy to have done your own research before posting. Either way, is that what you want? 
5. You WILL NOT change my mind about specific politicians, or my views about specific issues. Ever. I mean it. Not even the most brilliantly written, argued, and fact-based post opposing my current views will change my mind. My beliefs are more deep rooted that than, and I hope yours are as well. Otherwise, well, see #4. 
   

So then here's my question - what's the point of people posting this kind of shit at all? To let everyone know where they stand? To try and start a debate? That's the only rationale I can wrap my head around, and though I guess I get it, it's just not my scene. But if that's what floats your boat, I can't stop you. Unless/until Facebook gets a "hide political posts" setting. OH wouldn't that be awesome?? Mark Zuckerburg...are you listening??? But until that blessed day, in the same way I unplug my phone during election weeks, I'll be unplugging Facebook. 

Blogfully yours, 

Political Anti-social Julie