Go ahead, blame my vagina

FYI, it is insulting to assume that I’m going to vote for Hillary because I’m a woman. How is that assumption even logical? Because she has a vagina and so do I?  By that logic, I would be voting for the Donald because I have an asshole. Yes, of course I want a woman for president. We are long overdue and I inherently believe that women are smarter, more compassionate, and have a greater ability to develop strong and productive relationships versus men. If that makes me a feminist, then I wear that label with pride. But Hillary being a woman is very much not the reason I am voting for her.

That said…

And I’m going on record with this,

I don’t like Hillary Clinton. I think she’s always been calculating and self-serving and as such, a poor female role model. She, like many, many, MANY politicians before her, has conducted herself in a way that most would not consider to be honest and pure. These factors make me dislike her, personally and professionally. Not that I actually know her or have worked with her, but you get my point. However we don’t have to like the person we vote for, but we do have to make the decision based on qualifications. That’s what you should do when hiring for any job. And for this alone, there is no way I can even consider Donald Trump. 

Trump is not qualified. Not even close. And don’t tell me he’s a highly successful business man. Nope, he’s not. In fact, some of the few successes he’s had have come at the cost of cheating. His business record is actually atrocious. I heard that same rationale about needing a business man in office when George W. Bush was running, and given that his approach plunged us into financial hell, that argument doesn’t hold water for me. The person running our country should be a demonstrated leader, someone who understands the political system – for better or for worse, and the policies and procedures that are in place. If he or she is seeking to improve them through wholesale change – great! But you have to understand how something works before that change can happen.  Therefore the amount of experience matters. It matter a lot. He is, quite simply, unqualified. And that fact alone should matter the most.

However,

This time is different

This time, quality trumps quantity.

Pun very intended.

I’ve already said I don’t like Hillary. But the thing is, I abhor Donald Trump. I believe he is pure evil - a narcissist at the very least, he is a PROVEN racist, liar, bully, criminal, and of course, a huge sexist misogynist. The evidence to these characteristics is overwhelming, and these facts make him unfit to hold the most respected office in our country. He’s not saying what everyone else is afraid to say, he’s saying things that he very obviously believes, and which demonstrate that he is an awful person. Some people are attracted to others that are willing to go against the norm. I get that.  But if he’s saying what is on your mind, representing what you think, then make no mistake, you should be taking a long, scrutinizing look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see?  And even if you don’t feel he represents who you actually are, please know that just your endorsement of him speaks a different story about you. For example...

...a person may not consider themselves as a racist, but their support of Trump says that racism isn’t a deal-breaker, which ipso facto declares them a racist.  

Do people not get that?

Racism is not ok. Not. At. All.  Nor is mocking or degrading anyone because of gender, physical appearance, or disability. We don’t tolerate bullying when it comes to our children, so then why would it be ok in the person we want to lead our country? This would essentially give everyone permission to be awful. That is a dark and frightening thought.

If this thought and his character aren't enough to dissuade people from voting for him, then the hate in this country is at a level that appalls me.  Is this the America we are or want to show the world? If so, it’s not a country that holds the same values as I do, and that makes me really, really sad. This has been the most upsetting, embarrassing, disgraceful excuse of a presidential election I have ever seen, and one that I hope I or my children will never have to witness again. I think it’s safe to say that both of these candidates have engaged in behavior that is less than presidential. The question for this election is who is most qualified, in both resume and character. It’s Clinton. It HAS to be her.

But let’s get back to my vagina. There is no way my vagina could even consider voting for him. Nor my brain, or my heart. But my vagina seems to be what everyone cares about, (I’m flattered), and my vagina - which has been part of this hard-working full time bread-winning professional who multitasks better than any man I know for almost 46 years - is beyond offended by how Donald treats women, and is flat out tired of scumbags like Donald treating women like shit and not providing the same level of opportunities just because we have said vagina! It's not because she's a woman, it's because of who he is. So if it makes you feel better, go ahead, blame my vagina for my decision to vote for Hillary Clinton. Just please, please, please…don’t vote for the dick.

Blogfully yours,

Julie

April's Snow

I read somewhere recently that when we mourn celebrities it's not because we knew them personally, but rather because their work made us know ourselves better. That perfectly expresses why I think I'm taking the death of Prince so hard, why I haven't stopped binge listening to his music since learning of his death late last week, and why I can't seem to even joke about it as I'm prone to do with every other celebrity death out there. For God's sake, I run a celebrity death pool, part of who I am is making light of situations just like this! But it's different this time. Robin Williams was a sad one for me too - I think everyone felt his tragic loss - but with Prince it actually feels personal. Truly. As the days since his passing go on, I'm actually getting more sad instead of feeling better. 

Like most people, I enjoy music in my own way, quite a lot actually, but can’t say it’s a passion as I see it is in others. So even though I of course have my favorite songs or artists, there are only a very few whose music I feel is actually part of my soul. Prince has always been on that very short list. I can’t think the 80s and 90's, the most formative years of my life, without hearing something of his in the background and feeling the connection it had to me at the time. (Even if some songs may not have made complete sense to me back in the day. Think I’m finally old enough to fully understand the lyrics to “Darling Nikki?” Me neither.) His music was literally the soundtrack to this pivotal time of my life, both the songs that the world made popular, and the lesser known but phenomenal work which I felt more intimately and powerfully. I guess that's why there's been this culmination of his music and memories of certain times in my life coming together over these past few days. I thought if I could just articulate some of this, it might help to comfort the part of me I know better because of his work and reconcile this sadness I'm feeling. So here's a bit of my brain rambling, in no particular order and without any particular connection, in an effort to help me get past the sorrow and....wait for it....2 get through this thing called life: (BOOM!)

• The music binge felt overdue. It's not like I listened to his music everyday, though it was always a pretty safe bet that I stopped and listened when a song came on randomly. But still, I was happy to see that, in addition to what's in my MP3 playlist, just how much of his stuff I own on "old school" CD's. This collection somehow validates my mourning, proves to me that I have a right to be sad he's gone, because investing in his music to this degree clearly means I actually really did love his work. I didn't listen to his more recent work, and honestly didn't know a lot of it. I hope to change that. But even if I don't, it's ok. This represents a part of my life and clearly he was along for the ride. Like a good friend who laughed and cried and stood by me during the journey. 

• In high school, I was a much more insecure version of my current self. MUCH more insecure. Very afraid to let the real me out to most people. But there were a few in the inner circle that did get to experience it. One day, while hanging out in my basement with my friend Beth, "Kiss" came on the radio. I loved that damn song, and started dancing around, circling the pool table while I skipped and sang along with Prince's falsetto. As it turned out, that became a pivotal moment in time for me. Life changing, actually. As my friend witnessed my behavior and laughed along with me, enjoying the whole experience, she asked me at the end why I didn't let others see this version of me. The question hit me like a smack in the face. It made me realize just how much of myself I was holding back, and how un-fun that holding back had been. It was one of those moments that has stuck with me for years - 30 years to be exact - and ended up helping me truly know who I was, accepting that person, and shaping who I am today. All because I was letting myself feel that song, and begin to accept that I don't have to be cool, to rule my world.  (See what I did there?)
• The day after we learned of his passing I remembered that I wrote a paper on “Sign of the Times” in high school. I was amazed (then and now) at how brilliantly Prince captured the tragedy of the era, both as a reflection and a warning. I like to write (duh) so I've kept random stuff I've done over the years. Today I tore my cabinets apart trying to find that damn paper, unfortunately with no luck. Trust me, as brilliant as I'm sure it was (ish) I couldn't have done justice to describing the power of that song. But still, it put a smile on my face to know that of anything I could have written about back then - Prince's work is what I choose. And if I remember correctly, it wasn't so much a choice for me as it was a need to talk about it in the way I liked to express myself the most.
• I’m just back from vacation during which, while we were out for a jog, “Let’s Go Crazy” came on the iPod. We instantly and instinctively starting singing along, slightly breathless, but yet still animated, because that’s what you HAVE to do with that song. It's the law or biblical or something. No really, it's true, look it up. Book of Purple Rain, Chapter 1999. The song during the run made me remember and share the time I was listening to it in my room back in the 80's, dancing around while the song blasted into my head from my WALKMAN. Those foam earpads were wet with my dance sweat, but I still cranked the volume to 10 and, well, basically blew my ears out. The ringing didn't stop for days. I had always thought that when I get my eventual hearing aids I will tell the audiologist that it was Prince's fault. Now I'll be saying it with an even bigger badge of honor on my sleeve. 
• In 2004 on a complete last minute fluke I saw Prince in concert with my then-boss, during his Royal Purpleness' Musicology tour.  Like I said, it was a total stroke of my good luck that when my boss mentioned he was going I commented about how jealous I was, and that he remembered and thought of me when his wife bailed on her ticket the afternoon of the show. Did I mention the tickets were in the 2nd row? Yup! Before Prince even took the stage he stood 6 feet away from us watching the opening act. I was struck not only be the fact that Prince was RIGHT THERE, but that he was so into that opening artist on stage. (And of how short he was. I'm going to guess in the 5'4 range with his high heels on).  When it was finally his time up on that stage, he was simply amazing. In fact I don’t really have the right words to describe it. Simply said, his talent was flawless, so good I wanted to cry. Suffice it to say it was hands down the best show I’ve ever seen by any performer and I'm so grateful to have experienced it. 
• From Under the Cherry Moon, Prince's “Sometimes It Snows in April” has always been one of my favorite songs ever. Not by Prince, I mean EVER. It's a close my eyes, listen to every part, sing along or just listen to him, simple song. But it hauntingly sad and beautiful. Ironically, it's about the death of a loved one, a dear friend who was an inspiration in both life and death. Wow is it even more poignant right now. So then I suppose it's fitting I close with a few of its lyrics:  

Sometimes it snows in April

Sometimes I feel so bad

Sometimes I wish that life was never ending, 

But all good things, they say, never last

Good bye, sweet Prince.

Blogfully Yours, 
Julie

Facebook Ranting, Chapter Duh

I find myself these days spending less and less time on Facebook. Somewhat just because I'm busy with life, but in many ways quite intentionally. And that intentional avoidance actually makes me sad. It's the one social media venue that I actively embrace, a way to stay connected with friends and loved ones, and a sometimes creative outlet to share life's more interesting moments. But in addition to the usual annoyances (see my first chapter on this subject - Facebook Foolishness....), I find that in this election year my Facebook news feed has been overtaken by friends who choose to use it to rant on politics, politicians, politician wanna-bees, political issues, non-political issues dressing up like political issues, and all things related. For the love of God, please, please stop it. And it's not just because it's annoying (though it is), but because there is seriously no point. Here's why:

1. You WILL NOT make me think more highly of you if your views happen to align with mine. At best, I'll have an idea of who I can have a like-minded conversation with at some point, though it more than likely won't be a conversation held publicly through Facebook. 
2. You WILL make me hate you just a little. In fact I've blocked or de-friended quite a few friends because of their posts. And I don't want to do that. If I agreed to connect to you on Facebook, it means I like you and you have a place in heart for some reason. Don't make me regret that decision. If I have to block you, that place in my heart just got a whole lot smaller. And that's just sad. 
3. You WILL expose a side of you that most people don't care to see. Why? As they say, opinions are like assholes and everybody's got one. Maybe I'm just a more private person, but I prefer to keep my asshole closed in public settings. With every post you make, your friends can see your big brown eye getting bigger and bigger. And yes, no matter how you try and dress it up, what comes out of it fucking stinks.
4. You MIGHT make yourself look stupid. While I may use this wacky inter-web thing to research these types of subjects, Facebook posts are not a source I consider valid. However, I admit that I have had the rare occasion where a post strikes me (good or bad) enough to want to learn more. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten when I've investigated the information posted by a friend it's fraught with opinion versus fact, or flat out wrong. The later is not only inflammatory, but in many cases dangerous. The result? Now I think you're dumb. Or too lazy to have done your own research before posting. Either way, is that what you want? 
5. You WILL NOT change my mind about specific politicians, or my views about specific issues. Ever. I mean it. Not even the most brilliantly written, argued, and fact-based post opposing my current views will change my mind. My beliefs are more deep rooted that than, and I hope yours are as well. Otherwise, well, see #4. 
   

So then here's my question - what's the point of people posting this kind of shit at all? To let everyone know where they stand? To try and start a debate? That's the only rationale I can wrap my head around, and though I guess I get it, it's just not my scene. But if that's what floats your boat, I can't stop you. Unless/until Facebook gets a "hide political posts" setting. OH wouldn't that be awesome?? Mark Zuckerburg...are you listening??? But until that blessed day, in the same way I unplug my phone during election weeks, I'll be unplugging Facebook. 

Blogfully yours, 

Political Anti-social Julie

2015 - That's a Wrap

The year, as it tends to always do,time has flown by. Seems amazing how much has changed in a relatively short amount of time.

Things that are awesome

• My kids are doing wonderfully - in academics through their move up to middle school (the 12 year olds), or in their adult careers (the 24 and almost 23 year old); in adjusting to life with divorced parents, in navigating the tween years and their changing awkward bodies (back to the 12 year olds...I think). So, in general, they are wonderful in life. Status quo is a great thing in this case. I couldn't be more proud or love them more. Yet I know that when tomorrow comes, I will.
• I am dating a wonderful man. In fact I'm dating him again. I'm keeping all further commentary on that private, but suffice it to say, I'm beyond shocked that we are together and I am very, very happy. 
• I have a new (ish) job. Same company, but a different position, division, boss, and teammates. All of these facts make me happy and most importantly, make me feel a lot more positive and rewarded about my career and my company. Wow I needed that. 

Things that suck

• My friend Dan died this year. Of course I've had friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances pass away before, but this one was definitely different. My college friend; someone who was briefly a former boyfriend who happened to by gay - an obvious fact that I choose to ignore at the time because we were having fun. He struggled with this fact, and I believe led significantly to his alcoholism, an addiction that killed him at the too young age of 44. He died alone, broke and broken. I'm so sad, and I think I always will be. Though we didn't see each other enough over the past few years in particular. I will always have guilt for not helping him. I will always miss him. 
• My ongoing battle of the bulge is, well, ongoing. Last year I ended the year lighter and stronger than this year. The "fat and happy" curse kicked in to some degree. Add on the injuries, complex schedule, and lazy aspects, and you have a perfect combination for lack of success. My clothes from last year still fit...technically...but they are not comfortable. My battle wages on, and I will keep up the fight and aim to win in 2016, but still for now, it sucks. 

So all in all, I'm ending the year feeling like life happened, I survived it and I think survived it well. I'm looking forward to next year, and I'm looking back. largely with a smile on my face. Cheers to you 2015. As for you 2016....bring it.   

En Suite It Is

I'm beginning the following entry on April 12, 2015. End date as of this initiation is unknown, but hopefully will be in early June. Did my wish come true....???

POST SCRIPT - NOPE! 

Did you know that a bathroom connected to a bedroom is called an "en suite?" Or is it just when it's connected to a master bedroom? Either way, I didn't know that term until recently when I would catch the occasional guilty pleasure episode of "Love It Or List It." Probably bad that I didn't know that, because I have one, and privacy for personal grooming is definitely a luxury that is worthy of a fancy French title. (Well, as much privacy as a person can have when married and/or with small children.) Recently though, that beautiful luxury started to slip away when my shower began leaking, profusely, into my kitchen. As I was now the single owner of my house I choose to at first handle it the way any responsible adult would - I ignored it. But when it started to become too obvious and consistent a problem, I caved and started calling repair people. I'm going to fast forward through 6 months of torture and just say this - home owners insurance is a joke, public adjusters are helpful but a pain, and beware of over-friendly damage remediation servicemen. Bottom line, that leak was there longer than I knew, the resulting black mold and water damage were effecting three rooms, and the only way to fix everything was to gut the bathroom and damaged areas. The dollar signs were choking me. But it was the home's original bathroom and probably was well overdue for a face lift anyway. The too small stall-type shower always bugged me and I never used the whirlpool tub. Not to mention that,  though the space was nice, it was not well planned. Plus, I was feeling the need to freshen things up all across my life. So with this onward and upward attitude I embarked on my new project to achieve Fabulous Masterbath Living, or for short, Project FML. 

I decided that since I am tremendously bad at home decor and design, chronicling Project FML here in blog-land could either be a way to relieve my inevitable stress of the situation, or a way for you (still haven't publicized this blog yet so not sure who "you" is) to laugh at me. Either way, enjoy my next few weeks of torture. I'm told the whole thing will take 6 weeks. I'm assuming 8. Goal is to be back in my bathroom by June 1st. Here we go!

April 13th -The Prequel

Out with the old. And the ugly. And the leaking. And the too-small-to-even-shave-my-legs shower. And the hasn't-been-used-in-10-years whirlpool tub. And the unneeded linen closet. See ya later! Cabinets emptied, window treatments down, bath mats up. Let's do this.

April 14th, Day One - Destruction

This morning I handed my house key to a man with a ZZ Top type beard, gauge earrings, and more tattoos than I could easily count without him catching me (again). But my contractor says Ed is cool, so Ed now has full access to my house. Should I be worried that in less than 4 hours he single-handedly ripped out every bit of my bathroom? And I mean everything. When they say down to the studs, they mean, down to the studs. Nothing, nada, zip-a-dee-do-da is left. Kinda cool! My boys were very disappointed they missed all the activity which I'm sure/hoping at some point involved some serious power tools. All I know is that Ed has my key, I'm unsure where most of what was once part of my bathroom even is now, and I am very overwhelmed about all the stuff I need to buy to replace it. Starting with the tiles I picked out,  I really hope they don't look stupid because I'm going to live with them, like 'em or not. My initial trips to Home Depot, Lowes, and a few specialty stores nearly left me in tears. All I know is I want pretty neutral things. Beige is big in my house. I'm not proud of this, but it feels safe for me. I'm more of a "add a pop of color with an accent pillow" kind of a decorator.  Oh well, guess I'll see how this goes. For now, it's stud-city, and a bit dusty in my bedroom. I intend to stay in that bedroom, but it may require more frequent cleaning. Wasn't counting on that...

April 15th - Day 2, Mold be Gone

Not that I was paranoid that the black mold was wafting down onto my food like flakes of pepper through the faux ceiling I had makeshifted together since last August, but I think for the health of my family I'll be sleeping a bit more soundly tonight now that the mold has been eradicated. And I seriously don't think I've ever met a nicer, more thorough and professional service man than Matt from EcoTech. I may actually do a review on Yelp or something, I was that impressed. The only bummer is there a giant hole from what was my bathroom down into my kitchen. The kids love it, and have invented a new ball toss game called Holey Ball. (My kids creativity may have been stunted by the aforementioned mold situation).Note to self, see if I can get the painter over here this week to start that dry wall ceiling patch stuff. I'm sure he's just twiddling his thumbs waiting for my call. 

View from my bathroom floor, looking down into my kitchen. That's my son Ryan, who is laying on the kitchen counter looking up at me. So glad one of us finds this new direct access from upstairs to down to be "totally awesome."

April 20th - The tub

I showed the contractor dude pictures and descriptions of the tubs I’d narrowed down to. He then told me the one to order. Today he told me he selected the wrong one. Oh sure, no problem, I'll just run that giant $800 bowl of porcelain right back to the Home Depot. No problem. Maybe this time you could give me the correct information? 

April 21st – Jesus Mary and Joseph….the Dust!

Holy God I’ve never in my life seen so much dust in one space, and that space is my God damn bedroom. I thought I could sleep through it, ignore the thickness in the air. But after spending last night choking it in, coupled with the never ending thought of laying in sheets covered in a thickening blanket of it, I am done. So, I’m moving into my stepsons/spare room for the next few days. And heading to the store for some ultra power anti-allergen laundry detergent.

April 22nd….

…and a fresh can of Endust. 

April 23rd…..

…and a portable air purifier.

April 24th - Hallway Toilet

In many ways, having a toilet in the hallway I suppose could be seen as convenient, or embraced as "open concept," but for me, it feels quite white trash. I suppose true WT wouldn't have a hallway in their trailer, but still. I'm slowly but surely accepting this mess of an upstairs is going to get worse before it gets better. I'm not a neat freak (not REALLY) but still, this chaos is making my already delicate mental state teeter on the edge of insanity. I'm sure I have some Xanax around here somewhere. Where was it last? Oh yes, in the (former) medicine cabinet of my (former) master bathroom. Son of a...

April 27th - The bench

Ok, it’s starting to look like something in here now. The shower and tub frame are in and one of the parts I’ve been most excited to see is here – the bench in my shower. Yes, the idea for it was motivated by the sweet thought of a place to rest my foot as I shave my legs, something that I was desperately lacking in my old stall shower. But, if I’m being honest, I was also looking forward to a place to sit my naked butt down and chill as the shower water ran over me after a long day. Or when my neck muscles were on fire…which is often. Or when I just wanted to be lazy and needed more wake-up time. So today I finally got to see the frame of it all built…and I’m not digging it. It’s actually too big, cuts into the space at the entrance of the shower. Crap. Thank god my contractor was nice about it and said he can cut it down into a smaller corner space. And suddenly I’m grateful he screwed up the tub order so that he had no leg to stand on in protest. Or bench on which to sit his butt. 

May 1st – Tile Torture

I knew I’d fuck this part up. Or was it the lady at the tile shop? Either way, the tile is here and it’s wrong. The shower floor tile and accent tile is right, but the big floor and wall tile is gray, not beige. Same design, wrong color. MOTHER FUCKER!!! Did I mention this big, critical step was about to start tomorrow? Glad I was working from home this morning so I could spend all my spare time running my ass back to the store and arrange for a reorder, return, and re-plan of the process. Pretty sure this may make my credit card explode. Tile should be here in 3-5 business days which means Project FML is basically on hold for a week. Wonder if I can get the painter in to start on the downstairs ceiling and repainting my and my sons bedrooms. Oh did I forget to mention I added those projects as well? And that the new windows I planned on getting for the bathroom only has now become new windows for the entire upstairs? The snowball effect is real people. And it is fucking expensive.

May 8th - Restart
I got an email that the new tile is in, but my contractor took a small job while he was waiting, and that job isn’t quite complete yet. Of course. If I don’t see him or his peeps here on Monday, I’m going postal.

May 12th - Getting somewhere

Oh thank God. The (correct) tile is at my house and we’re off and running. Every day there’s more done and it’s starting to look really real. Really! 

May 18th - I’m over it

Over sleeping in Teddy’s room in a bed that’s too hard. Done with having to put flip flops on to walk into my room to avoid the plastic tarp on the floor that is covered in that blanket of dust. Sick of sharing a bathroom with two tweens and their bad pee aim. Tired of having my garage taken over by a sea of tools, a giant table saw, accompanying saw dust, and boxes of wrong tile waiting to be returned. Angry at tripping over extension cords and garbage pails and drop clothes and paint cans. I’m. Just. DONE! But they are not. In fact if feels like they’re not even close. Project FML – damn I was smarter than I thought when I came up with that one.

May 21th – Shower Glass

Ordered. And it’s the last big purchase. Should be in by the first or second week of June. Slightly off my goal of June 1^st but given the tile delay, I can’t complain. Though I’m pretty sure this whole blog entry has been one big complaint. I’m sorry. Almost done with that.  Especially since I do feel like now that it’s all coming together it’s making me, dare I say, happy! Plus my sinks and faucets and cabinet and mirrors have all arrived, and now just waiting to be installed. It’s a good day in the land of Project FML and I’m finally starting to see the fabulous part come to life. Yep, I’ll call it a win for now. But can I still complain about not being back in my bedroom? I really miss my bed.

May 26th – The (missing) Knee Wall

I’ve been thinking that it’s a bit odd that they were laying all the floor tile down before they installed the knee wall that my contractor was supposed to add next to the toilet. You know, for some semblance of modesty while one is dropping a deuce. So, I casually asked when it will go in. He responded, “Um, last week….” Yup, he forgot. Luckily he was gracious about it and admitted his error. And, perhaps in an attempt to make up for the mistake, or maybe because he was just feeling creative, he went above and beyond and built me a kickass multi-purpose one. Not only do I now have a bit of poop time privacy, but I’ve got some handy storage too. Plenty of space for extra TP, wipes, air fresheners, and the all important reading material. Oh don’t even feign that you don’t read on the potty. It’s like nose picking. We all do it, but no one wants or needs to see you in the act. Thus, the wall. 

June 10th – Windows…and my bed!

A very loud day in the house, tough to take work conference calls, but having almost all the windows in and looking so pretty is making me very happy. Almost as happy as the fact that I’m moving back into my bed. The dust situation is now calm(er), or at least under control, the plastic tarps put up and major pieces of bathroom guts going in soon. Oh sweet body contouring adjustable mattress, my dear sweet fluffy pillows, all covered in freshly laundered April Fresh sheets…get ready, mama’s all yours tonight. 

June 19th  - So very, very close

Tub – check! Tile –check! Painting – check! Cabinet – check! Toilet – check! Faucets, (you guessed it) – check! Holy cow, it’s almost done! With the exception of the shower (glass still pending), it’s ready for use. Spending this weekend filling the cabinet drawers, putting up the window treatments, and general décor. I’ve never been so excited to take a pee and brush my teeth.

June 26th – Shower glass delay

Hardware is back-ordered. Not that the contractor or glass people bothered to let me know this proactively. Took several messages to get someone to call me back and let me know why I am still showerless. Waiting, waiting, waiting….

July 16th - Today's the Day.... Shower Glass, the end!

PSYCHE! Are you kidding me? I mean, seriously, are you fucking kidding me? These God damn people were here for 4 hours doing the installation, and in the end it still wasn't done. It seems Mr. Glass didn't template correctly and the door doesn't fit. Three of the 4 pieces are up, and the only thing left is the door,..and I am yet again denied. He wanted to know what I thought of the work so far. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I told him I now know what blue balls feels like. Ok, no, I didn't say that, but I really wanted to. He promised to be back in a week with the new door. Looking forward to seeing him in August. 

July 31st - HALLELUJAH! 

Technically he missed my sarcastic August date by one day, but the shower door is in! I can’t open it for two days, but still. Oh, hey, that does officially put me in August for the conclusion of Project FML doesn’t it? Almost 4 months. Four Fucking Months. This better be the best God damn shower of my life. But it does look pretty, so for now, I’m a happy girl.

August 2nd – The Grand Finale – Shower Day!

Absolutely, 100%, completely, fully DONE AND USABLE. Best shower of my life even if I’m not totally happy with the power of the new shower head (dammit, so close). I’m declaring Project FML and all it’s snowballed side projects officially FINISHED. And how (en) sweet it is!

Da do run, run, run

3/25/15
I just can't call myself a runner. To me, that's someone who runs marathons, or half marathons, or gets that "runners high" while they're in the act of it. These people are fit, taught, happy, and energetic. And accordingly, many, many of them are super duper annoying. However, I do run for exercise. Again, I'm not a runner, but it's become something that is part of who I am. And frankly, it's carried me through one of the tougher times of my adult life. I feel like I owe it some blog time. Maybe as a thank you, maybe as a reminder if I ever fall off the wagon completely how much it once meant to me. For whatever reason, this is my non-runners story. 

About 5 years ago I started jogging on the treadmill. I had been working out consistently for about a year - which in and of itself was a big fucking deal for me because it was the first time in all my life I was doing that regularly. But running always scared the shit out of me. I knew I had problem feet so why would I purposely try the one form of exercise that was literally the hardest on my poor tootsies? But the treadmill at the gym had a TV on it, so what the hell. Somehow, some way, I started to like it. And let me be clear....I didn't like the act, in fact, I still don't. But I do like, no, I love, how I feel afterward. THAT's when I get the runners high. My lungs feel more open, the endorphin's pumping through me gives me a noticeable improved mood that lasts for hours, and the accomplishment of going a bit further, a bit faster plays right into my competitive nature. So, still very much to my own surprise, I kept it up, me, a treadmill, and my shitty flat feet. 

In between then and now, my left foot got the best of me, and I had to have surgery to fix a shredded tibial tendon (though in the process, I actually got an arch for the first time in my life - yay!). Recovery from the surgery was rough though, and it took almost a year to get back to my routine. But once I did, I was happy again and decided to try and push myself to actually setting a goal and tracking progress. It was a relatively small goal actually, a 5k - 3.1 miles - and I got there, albeit slowly, averaging about 35-40 minutes to do it. Really, not a great time, but the point was I could do it and that was enough. Well, sort of. I had to admit, I was secretly jealous of my friends that were actual runners. Seeing them post pictures of their races on Facebook made me want to be them. And of course, they looked great. Did I mention the fit, taught, happy thing? I'd been psyching myself up to do an official race, any race would do. in the fall of 2013 I finally signed up for a Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot. Race day came and....I chickened out, or is that turkey'd out,  because it was so cold and I didn't know what to expect. And frankly, for unrelated reasons I was in a pretty bad mental state at the time too, so the whole thing just made me retreat in to my little corner. But hey, I'd made it to registration - that had to count for something. 


2014 became my year. It was a year of transition for me in many ways, and I was forging new, uncharted territory in a lot of my life. Seemed like the time was right to try a race again. I decided one that wasn't a "real" race was the way to go, and that I'd do it with someone fun so that if I couldn't run it, I'd have fun anyway. Enter, the Run or Dye race. It. Was. AWESOME! I had a ball, got all sorts of colorful with the dye packs, and had a ton of laughs with my niece Heather who I forced to do it with me, and most importantly, I ran the whole thing. I didn't time myself, I didn't care, but it definitely got me motivated to try more. 

  

I wanted to see if I could do 1 race a month until the weather got rough, which would have given me 5 or so. By the end of 2014 I'd done nine. Me, nine races. Nope, still wasn't fast, but I kept at it, and I did improve, eventually finishing in under 30 minutes which, too, was awesome. On my own, I was running longer distances too. The feeling of accomplishment was tremendous, I was surprised by delighted by the kudos and support by friends and family, was bonding with long lost friends who I reconnected through some of the race events, and had to admit, my clothes were fitting better without a whole lot of modification to my diet. SCORE! Bottom line, running gave me a lot of positivity at a time that otherwise might have been very dark. It saved me last year, and if I never run again I'll be forever grateful I did it. 

My favorite race of 2014 - The "Run First, Wine Later" in New Hope, PA.
5k in 29:04 followed by a wine and food festival at the finish line. What's bad about that?

In the meantime, I'm still hitting the road, or treadmill, or track, or wherever I can go, though sadly, not as intensely. I still have two races under my belt this year, and have at least two more I'm committed to. In fact, one of them is a 10k. Not sure if I'll be ready, but it's there, and if I have to walk some of it, so be it. And though I miss the frequency of that post-run high, I'll take it here and there when I can, you know, just run with it. :)

Blogfully yours, 
Julie

Words To Hate And Why

For some unknown reason the subject of words that people hate has been a common discussion lately from a variety of friends. I started a list, both of my own contribution and from others, mostly because I wanted to analyze the why behind the hate. In some cases, it was clear. In others, not so much. I was originally going to post this out to my Facebook circle for assistance, but decided against it. Mostly because there may be ones on here that people I know use regularly and I wouldn't want to offend them. HA, yeah right, I almost believed that. Truth is I just want to be able to solve this mystery my own damn self and being able to edit this post as I do.

So, here's my starter list, with rationale and/or commentary. Or is it my complete list? You'll never know...

Moist - By far, this is the most hated of the hated words. I've seen not one but several articles written on the subject, and the bottom line is that the words conjures up the feel, sound, and in some cases smell, of several of life unpleasantries. Frankly, this word is only acceptable when talking about cake, and even then it’s borderline gross.

Damp - See above, though never should be used in reference to food.
Puke - Makes a person look and sound not just disgusted, but angrily so when they say it. The sound too, is too close the sound made during the actual act. 

Supper - Do you live in the big woods of Minnesota in the 1880’s? Or in the deep south next to Honey BooBoo? No? Then call it dinner.

Turgid - Know it? You’ve just outted yourself as a reader of Harlequin Romance Novels. So I'm told. No I seriously haven't! Ok, moving on...

Flaccid - Hmmm…if this is part of your vernacular, well, I’m sorry to hear….
Pimple - The immediate image of a red inflamed mountain in desperate need of exploding combined with the scare of pubescent anxiety of having too many of these thing makes this a no go. Ironic though, because I love to pop them. Used to chase my sister around the house so that I could pop hers. (Have I completely grossed you out yet? Think I'm totally disgusting. Trust me, I'm scratching the surface.)
Dump - Obviously, this word is slang for pooping. That in and of itself ruins it for all other, legitimate meanings. Way to go slang world. Now when "dump" is used to describe a place where garbage or junk goes to die, or the act of getting rid of something undesirable, people automatically think of taking a shit.
Ointment - The image is conjures up is that of a wet, slimy product. One that is...what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yeah - moist. 'Nuff said.
Panties - I'm stumped as to the rationale on this one, truly. All I know is that I feel a little creepy when I say it. For the most part, I just stick to talking about my underwear and keep the child molester word out of it.

More? I know there are. But for now, I'll call it a night.

Blogfully yours,
Julie