I want to write a post about why Valentine's Day sucks. Why it's a stupid Hallmark holiday. Why there shouldn't be just one day dedicated to acknowledging your love for someone. Blah, blah, blah. But what could I write that hasn't been said a million times over by both the happily coupled, the miserable single, and everyone in between? Normally, at least for most of my adult life, this holiday has meant very little to me for all of the reasons above. That, and the simple fact that I've always been too lazy and cheap to want to do a whole thing about this day. Of course, if someone were to make a fuss over me, I'm sure I wouldn't say no. I'm female, after all. And who doesn't like chocolate? And flowers? Give me Reese's Peanut butter cups and stargazer lilies and pretty much anyone could have their filthy way with me.
So if I've generally not really cared about this stupid-ass holiday, why is it just bugging the shit out of me this year? Because I'm single? I've been single on Valentine's Day before, and yes it does sting just a bit more when I am, but that's not quite it. Is it because I'm newly single? Nope. Though it wasn't widely known, I was already post-marriage at this point last year. Ya know the stupid reason why??? Because it's Saturday. And it's not like I'm having a terrible night. I'm sitting on my couch, two of my four boys here with me, both deeply engrossed in some NBA all-stars thingy, while I'm cozy in my sweats, happily sipping (guzzling) my wine. Not a terrible night at all. But, Jesus, to be single on a Saturday Valentines Day just kinda blows. When my marriage was ending I hated any and all happy couples, but I'm over that now. Pretty much. Ok, I will be soon. Having a holiday shine a giant magnifying glass on those happy couples just makes me feel unlovable, undatable, and unchosen and frankly that feeling is just annoying the shit out of me today. Tomorrow I'll wake up, have my tea, workout, and feel better. But as for tonight...F U Cupid. Please hide your diapered ass away from me or I'm going to take that arrow of yours and shove it somewhere unpleasant.
Hmmm. that was a bit rough. I'm not a love hater, I'm really not. In fact I am sure that if we all followed our hearts and stop listening to our heads, this world would be a far better place. And because I do believe that love is the best emotion in the world, and in the spirit of the "holiday," I'll close with just a few quick thoughts on the subject.
- Everyone you know has something about them that is lovable about them. It's there, find it. You'll be happier for recognizing this and it may just get you through some otherwise unpleasant interactions.
- Don't ever miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them. Ever. It can't be said enough because no one ever gets tired of hearing it. If you're in love with them, this is even more important. You might feel vulnerable for having done so, but that's an honest emotion. And at some point, you'll always regret not saying it.
- The good book was right. Love IS patient, and love IS kind. Anything less is not love. Don't settle for less.
Blogfully yours,
Julie
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